February being the month of love, with Valentine's Day and all, I thought starting this blog with a post about self-love was quite fitting. I started practising self-love consciously back in 2019 after another "failed" diet with a famous slimming club. I've spent most of my life on diets, and after gaining back all the weight I had lost and more, I was left with very low self-esteem: I had no willpower, I couldn't do anything right, what was I going to achieve in my life if I couldn't even resist eating a cookie?? 🍪

It was also a vicious cycle: the more I disliked myself, the more I went on diets to lose weight and be slimmer in the hope that I would like myself more. But the more I dieted to lose weight, the more I disliked myself and lost my confidence. 

That stopped from the moment I was taught that you're not going to get to a point where you love yourself more by hating yourself. Presented that way, it kind of makes sense, right? So I had to tackle the issue from the other end: I started to learn to love myself first, and then my life started changing for the better 💫

Loving yourself is an essential element to allow you to live the life you want and deserve. Without self-love, you might be holding yourself back from doing what you truly want to do simply because you feel like you don’t deserve it because you’re not good enough. Anyway, that’s what I used to do!

So what are the three things you can start doing right now to kickstart your journey of increasing your self-love and finally be able to get the life of your dreams? ✨

1. Write a love letter to yourself

You're probably thinking, Maëlle, are you crazy? Why would I write a love letter to myself?? 😳

I get it, writing a love letter to yourself sounds a bit strange. But you'll see, it's actually quite fun! And that's the first practice I'd like you to start in 2023 to kickstart your self-love journey.

In this letter, I’d like you to address yourself in a loving way. Just tell yourself everything you like about yourself. I would recommend covering at least the following areas: what you love about your personality, what you love about your looks, and what you are proud of yourself for in terms of achievements (personal & professional achievements). 

Sign it, put it in an envelope, and store it in a safe place. And if you feel down and need a boost, read your letter to get a lovely reminder of the amazing person you are.

As I mentioned at the start of this article, self-love is a practice. This means it will take time, but if you are consistent, you will get there! So in 6-month time, you will probably have noticed a shift already. Revisit your letter, read what you thought of yourself six months ago, and write a new one you will open six months later! 

2. Learn to catch your negative thoughts about yourself

Do you realise how you're talking to yourself every day? Do you compliment yourself, or are you more of the inner critic type? 

If you are like most people (me included!!), this exercise is going to change your life. Nope, not exaggerating at all. It does require consistency and practice, but it is a very powerful mindset tool that will help you shift your narrative and your outlook on life.

The basics of this are very simple: every time you have a negative thought about yourself (”I’m stupid”, “I’m not good enough", “I’m ugly”), try to catch those thoughts, accept that you have them - I don’t want you to feel guilty because you have these thoughts! - and replace them with a positive one.

Here are a few examples:

I’m stupid: I am smart, but what I did today was a mistake. I still deserve to love myself

I’m not good enough: I am good enough, I deserve to be respected/heard/loved/etc.

I’m ugly: I am beautiful the way I am, I have beautiful eyes and beautiful hair, and I know that I’m beautiful inside and out

The most important thing is that you find a positive thought that resonates with you and that is believable for you right now. It will probably feel awkward, cringe and difficult at first, but the more you practice doing it, the easier it will get! 💫

3. Journal

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard of journaling as a great self-discovery tool. I know I'm one of a billion coaches talking about how great journaling is, but that's because it really is an amazing tool. 

If you've never tried journaling, don’t panic, journaling is actually very easy. Find a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed, your hot drink of choice (mine is some sort of fruity green tea), and your favourite notebook and pen, and you’re ready to go!

Here are three prompts that I recommend to get you started:

❤️ What does self-love mean to me?

❤️ Where do I currently lack self-love in my life?

❤️ For each of the areas I lack self-love in, what is the one thing I can put in place to change that?

Answer those questions freely in your notebook, this is a time just for you, and there are no right and wrong answers, so don't put pressure on yourself!

I would then recommend that at least twice a week, you grab your notebook to journal about how you feel about yourself, how your practice is going, what you are proud of yourself for, and what you are learning to love about yourself.

And that's it for this article! Adding those three practices to your routine will get you started on your journey to falling in love with yourself. Keep practising because consistency is key! And remember, you deserve the very best. If you feel like you need more support on your journey, contact me and we'll discuss the best ways in which I can help you reach your goals!